One of the things that has kicked my ass these past two months is work. Some of you may know by now that I am working with Catalina as both her personal assistant and part of Quid Pro Quo her marketing firm. Today Catalina wrote on her Catalina Says blog about the new directions Quid Pro Quo is going in.
Although these past two months have been extremely busy for me between my regular job, my overseeing Best Sex Bloggers, my personal life and now Quid Pro Quo, I haven't been this happy in years. I absolutely love working with Catalina. She pushes me to take chances and challenge myself in ways that I haven't in years. There are so many times we both think alike and are on the same page with our ideas. I say to people that I work for Catalina but in everyday reality I work more with her than for her. It was just such an amazingly easy relationship to fall into. It is also a business relationship which is still evolving. What started out as being just a personal assistant has undergone some major changes just in these short two months.
Tess and I had been close from the first day we emailed each other way back when but it wasn't until we worked on the NYC Sex Blogger Calendar together that I saw the potential of us working together at some point. We bounced ideas and thoughts off of each other and in the end we produced a remarkable product for an important organization such as Sex Work Awareness and are now in the planning stages for the 2010 calendar.
So far my work with Catalina has been exciting. The people I am in contact with and the projects we work on. I like that I can do so much of it online with her and our clients at anytime of the day or night. There have been nights we find each other online at 3:00am when there are no distractions and we have an impromptu meeting. I am able to work late at night from my bed with the west coast without having to leave the house. It really is in so many ways the ideal job.
As word of this has started to spread we are now being contacted by people looking for us to do work for them. The internet is so large and yet so often it is really a very small world. The three of us each bring something different to Quid Pro Quo with our own personal strengths and ideas. Although this work has been fun and enjoyable for me this change in my life was one more step I took toward my independence.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Love-Hate
For months now I have been struggling with writing on my blog. In the beginning I remember how I used to love writing here. I would laugh and giggle to myself with the latest crazy thing I would post but then last summer all that changed.
I took a two week break from here last summer and didn't know at that point if I would ever write here again. As you can see I chose to continue. However since that time I have struggled with writing.
When I wrote those posts last summer they started out as emails I would send to someone as a way to work through all of it. They were painful to write and I found I was unable to write in blogger at the time because it seemed every time I opened blogger I stared at a blank page unable to write any words.
I next moved to writing in my word program and transferring it to here. I still struggled but at least I was no longer writing emails. After months I finally went back to writing in blogger but it still has not been easy. There are many times I open blogger with thoughts of what I want to write only to stare at a blank screen once again. I drives me crazy and we all know what can happen then.
I have so many thoughts of things I want to write about that run through my head during the day or late at night but I am not able to sit down and write at that point. One recent day I had decided I would stop writing here and just continue my posting on Best Sex Bloggers. I had felt as if I just had no desire to say anything anymore and I was tired of it all. Tess had always told me that blogs very rarely last a year. I had made it past that point and thought maybe this was it. Maybe this was all I ever had to say and it was time to move on. I had been feeling burnt out with online.
The next morning I woke up and into my head popped four different ideas I wanted to write about. I sat down and was able to bang out those posts no problem and it felt good. It felt like when I had first started to blog and loved it.
So I have come to the conclusion I have a love-hate relationship with my blog. There are days I absolutely love writing here and there are days I just want to end it. I finally made the decision to not care anymore. If I have something to say I'll write it and if not then it doesn't matter. I'm sure I will always struggle with writing but now I once again feel the joy of it.
I took a two week break from here last summer and didn't know at that point if I would ever write here again. As you can see I chose to continue. However since that time I have struggled with writing.
When I wrote those posts last summer they started out as emails I would send to someone as a way to work through all of it. They were painful to write and I found I was unable to write in blogger at the time because it seemed every time I opened blogger I stared at a blank page unable to write any words.
I next moved to writing in my word program and transferring it to here. I still struggled but at least I was no longer writing emails. After months I finally went back to writing in blogger but it still has not been easy. There are many times I open blogger with thoughts of what I want to write only to stare at a blank screen once again. I drives me crazy and we all know what can happen then.
I have so many thoughts of things I want to write about that run through my head during the day or late at night but I am not able to sit down and write at that point. One recent day I had decided I would stop writing here and just continue my posting on Best Sex Bloggers. I had felt as if I just had no desire to say anything anymore and I was tired of it all. Tess had always told me that blogs very rarely last a year. I had made it past that point and thought maybe this was it. Maybe this was all I ever had to say and it was time to move on. I had been feeling burnt out with online.
The next morning I woke up and into my head popped four different ideas I wanted to write about. I sat down and was able to bang out those posts no problem and it felt good. It felt like when I had first started to blog and loved it.
So I have come to the conclusion I have a love-hate relationship with my blog. There are days I absolutely love writing here and there are days I just want to end it. I finally made the decision to not care anymore. If I have something to say I'll write it and if not then it doesn't matter. I'm sure I will always struggle with writing but now I once again feel the joy of it.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Sanity
It has been a year since I first started therapy. There have been many changes over that year in my life since I first started with the biggest change being that I am once again sane. (shut up Tess)
I look back at that first day I walked into my therapist's office and I don't even know that person I was then. I can now see how out of control, depressed and unhappy I was and that I had been for many years.
Over the course of this year the one thing I have worked on is me. I can see now what low self esteem I had and how I had been in an abusive relationship for so many years. I just didn't understand that because it wasn't a physical abuse. It has taken me these past months to be able to change that and to see myself as having value once again.
It was when I realized I was making the same mistakes in a relationship that I had made in my marriage and doing the same things that I realized I needed to "fix" me. My future and my happiness would not be any different if I didn't look at why I was allowing myself to be treated with such little respect.
It took me some time to discover "me" and my happiness again. I now make my choices and decisions based on how I feel about them and no longer trying to please everyone else around me. I was so busy trying to make everyone else in my life happy so they would like me that I only ended up being extremely unhappy myself and allowing fucked up people and things in my life.
I've learned over this past year I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to be the perfect wife, mother and friend. I just have to be me. And that is pretty awesome. I have spent these last months discovering me. What I like. What I dislike. Discovering new friends and spending time with them. I have built a support system of people in my life that I can turn to for a laugh, to vent about something or just to share a meal or a drink with. All of that is pretty awesome these days.
I still struggle. I struggle with my daily life. I struggle with getting out of bed on some mornings. I struggle with writing. But overall I'm happy once again and looking forward to each day. For me after all these years that is a pretty awesome feeling.
Although I know I have made a lot of progress and changes over this past year it is still a wonderful thing when I hear people tell me how strong I have become and how much I have grown.
The other night I attended Sex in America with friends. It was then that I realized how much my life has changed from this time last year. Gone was the drama and bullshit and in it place was a room full of people that were now my friends. People I enjoy spending time with and have a lot of respect for. That night as I sat at dinner with everyone discussing the panel we listened to among other things I realized that I felt more like me than I had in years and that was a good thing.
There were moments over this past year that therapy saved my sanity along with some close friends. People will ask me if it is helping me or when I will be done with it. It is hard to explain to some how therapy has helped me because it didn't save my marriage and that is what they think therapy should be for. I also have no plans to stop going to therapy at this point in my life. It has only been a benefit in helping me and I can't see any reason to stop that.
Life is good.
I look back at that first day I walked into my therapist's office and I don't even know that person I was then. I can now see how out of control, depressed and unhappy I was and that I had been for many years.
Over the course of this year the one thing I have worked on is me. I can see now what low self esteem I had and how I had been in an abusive relationship for so many years. I just didn't understand that because it wasn't a physical abuse. It has taken me these past months to be able to change that and to see myself as having value once again.
It was when I realized I was making the same mistakes in a relationship that I had made in my marriage and doing the same things that I realized I needed to "fix" me. My future and my happiness would not be any different if I didn't look at why I was allowing myself to be treated with such little respect.
It took me some time to discover "me" and my happiness again. I now make my choices and decisions based on how I feel about them and no longer trying to please everyone else around me. I was so busy trying to make everyone else in my life happy so they would like me that I only ended up being extremely unhappy myself and allowing fucked up people and things in my life.
I've learned over this past year I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to be the perfect wife, mother and friend. I just have to be me. And that is pretty awesome. I have spent these last months discovering me. What I like. What I dislike. Discovering new friends and spending time with them. I have built a support system of people in my life that I can turn to for a laugh, to vent about something or just to share a meal or a drink with. All of that is pretty awesome these days.
I still struggle. I struggle with my daily life. I struggle with getting out of bed on some mornings. I struggle with writing. But overall I'm happy once again and looking forward to each day. For me after all these years that is a pretty awesome feeling.
Although I know I have made a lot of progress and changes over this past year it is still a wonderful thing when I hear people tell me how strong I have become and how much I have grown.
The other night I attended Sex in America with friends. It was then that I realized how much my life has changed from this time last year. Gone was the drama and bullshit and in it place was a room full of people that were now my friends. People I enjoy spending time with and have a lot of respect for. That night as I sat at dinner with everyone discussing the panel we listened to among other things I realized that I felt more like me than I had in years and that was a good thing.
There were moments over this past year that therapy saved my sanity along with some close friends. People will ask me if it is helping me or when I will be done with it. It is hard to explain to some how therapy has helped me because it didn't save my marriage and that is what they think therapy should be for. I also have no plans to stop going to therapy at this point in my life. It has only been a benefit in helping me and I can't see any reason to stop that.
Life is good.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Monday
Like so many others that I know I do not look forward to Monday's and the start of another week. On one recent Monday I breezed into my local Starbucks on my way to work for the jolt that would get me through my morning.
This particular day it was not very crowded with only one person ahead of me in line. When that person waiting turned around I was pleasantly surprised to see it was one of my best friends who now lives out west and had just flew in late the night before. We both laughed and hugged each other there in the middle of Starbucks. She asked me how I had been and how things are going these days for me.
As I stood there filling her in on the latest things in my life since we last spoke I felt much happier. I thought of how much I have changed in these past months and how simple it was for me to just reach out and hug her now.
My Monday didn't suck quite as much as it did just ten minutes before. Life was good.
This particular day it was not very crowded with only one person ahead of me in line. When that person waiting turned around I was pleasantly surprised to see it was one of my best friends who now lives out west and had just flew in late the night before. We both laughed and hugged each other there in the middle of Starbucks. She asked me how I had been and how things are going these days for me.
As I stood there filling her in on the latest things in my life since we last spoke I felt much happier. I thought of how much I have changed in these past months and how simple it was for me to just reach out and hug her now.
My Monday didn't suck quite as much as it did just ten minutes before. Life was good.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Do Not Disturb
The other night when I saw Tess she was very excited to show me her copy of Do Not Disturb that she had just received. For those of you who do not know this is Rachel Kramer Bussel's newest book that just came out this month. This is also the first book that Tess has been published in. Yay Tess!!
It was such a thrill for me to pick up that book, open it and see her name and bio in it and then page through it to find her story in there. Since I have known Tess I have always admired her writing. It was after all the reason we met and became such close friends. It was also nice to see Tess once again happy and smiling after the rough past few months she has had.
Rachel has a blog for this book and will be doing a virtual book tour in April for it. If you have ever noticed I do not review anything here on my blog but I may just ask Rachel this time to be included on that tour.
Tess and Rachel will also be reading at the next In The Flesh on March 19th and I am very much looking forward to that. I love going to In The Flesh and have heard Rachel read many times but this will be the first time hearing Tess and I know that Tess will be awesome.
The other night when I saw Tess we had dinner with many of our friends including Twanna, Rachel and Dacia who all are in the book trailer for Do Not Disturb. I thought Rachel's Spanked book trailer was hot but this one is even better in my opinion.
But don't take my word for it. Have a look for yourself.
Congratulations Tess!!!!
(I told you so)
Friday, February 20, 2009
Rings
I remember long ago when I first became engaged. The beautiful diamond ring that was placed on the third finger of my left hand. I remember the happiness I felt that day and the days following. Telling my friends and family the happy news of my future and then spending the next year planning my wedding. One that would be a very large and lavish event. A traditional wedding with the white gown, flower girl and throwing of the bouquet.
I wore that ring everyday without taking it off until my wedding day when it was then joined with my wedding ring. I then wore both rings on my finger without ever removing them. They were the symbol that told both myself and the world I was married.
As the years went by I didn't even notice my rings anymore. They became part of me as they sat on my left hand. The band on my engagement ring became thinner and thinner from the daily wearing of it as the years passed. I waited for the day when it would finally break.
The day came but it wasn't the ring that broke. It was me and my marriage. I removed those rings one day without any fanfare or words. I thought that I would feel sadness or pain for what no longer was but I didn't. By the time I removed those rings the sadness and pain had passed and left in their place was acceptance.
As I looked down at my now empty finger I noticed a dent in it where my rings had been all those years. They had left a mark on my finger reminding me of what was when I looked down. It took many years for that mark to form and I now wonder how many years it will take for it to go away or will I forever hold that small reminder of the hope and dreams of happiness I once held on that finger.
I wore that ring everyday without taking it off until my wedding day when it was then joined with my wedding ring. I then wore both rings on my finger without ever removing them. They were the symbol that told both myself and the world I was married.
As the years went by I didn't even notice my rings anymore. They became part of me as they sat on my left hand. The band on my engagement ring became thinner and thinner from the daily wearing of it as the years passed. I waited for the day when it would finally break.
The day came but it wasn't the ring that broke. It was me and my marriage. I removed those rings one day without any fanfare or words. I thought that I would feel sadness or pain for what no longer was but I didn't. By the time I removed those rings the sadness and pain had passed and left in their place was acceptance.
As I looked down at my now empty finger I noticed a dent in it where my rings had been all those years. They had left a mark on my finger reminding me of what was when I looked down. It took many years for that mark to form and I now wonder how many years it will take for it to go away or will I forever hold that small reminder of the hope and dreams of happiness I once held on that finger.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
But Mama....
Mama always told me not to look into the eyes of the sun.....
But mama
That's where the fun is.
But mama
That's where the fun is.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Online/Offline
Last week I read this post by my friend Lilly and it struck home with me because it had been something Tess and I had been talking a lot about lately. Our online lives and the people we know.
Since finding this online CommUNITY I have been able to get to know many people. Some I have met in my offline life and some I have built close friendships with. Then there are all the other friends I have only online.
However sometimes online life is just too much like being in Jr. High School. Who follows who on twitter, snarky comments on blog posts and online stalkers. I think it is that part of online life that had me feeling a lot like Lilly did. Somewhat burnt out. I left the playground many years ago and I have no desire to spend time there at this point in my life.
I love my online life at times and the world it has opened for me. I look forward to what crazy thing Mollena will tweet next or what rant Steff will post on her blog that makes me want to shout "You go girl!" to her when she nails exactly what I am thinking. I laugh when I think about my twitter conversations with Natt and Kyle and the three of us doing #8 together. Or the most recent episode of BitAM. Then there are all the hot shoe pictures Thursday and Tess post on twitter that makes me want to convert.
Because of blogging I now know Tess, Catalina, Elizabeth and Bad Bad Girl. They are some of my closest friends that I can turn to for support, a question or just to enjoy something with. Audacia helped me to see the true side of sex work instead of the media version I had been fed all these years and I know when we go out to dinner together I am going to have a fantastic meal because of her love of food and knowledge of NYC restaurants.
Last fall the sex blogging CommUNITY all came together to produce the NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar. Not just the bloggers who posed in it but the entire sex blogging CommUNITY who came out and supported it by blogging, twittering, buying days and then buying calendars. Now Audacia will be holding her first Speak Up! here in NYC in April because of the funds that were raised from the sales of the calendar. We together as a CommUNITY did that. Which in my book is pretty damn good.
We as a CommUNITY all wrote about and helped Butterfly as she battled cancer all these past months. We all lent her our emotional support when she needed someone there and we all showed her how much she mattered to us in our CommUNITY. We helped Catalina fight against a school that was using her daughters education against her becuase of the work she has chosen.
I have had my fan girl moments from sex blogging too. Meeting some of the people that I have, has been a truly wonderful experience. Candida Royalle is an amazing women that I had the pleasure of finally meeting at the calendar launch party. Last month I met Graydancer when he visited NYC. Sqeeeeee! I had been a fan of him and his Ropecast and he was even sweeter to meet in person. Lochai left me a comment on my Fetlife wall saying I must be special as a welcome to Fetlife. I was totally shocked when I found my twitter on 'Violet Blues sex twitters list.
Then there are all the people I interact on a daily basis with online. People who seek me out to work on a project with them or an idea they have. Things that make me feel great after having such low self esteem all these years. I am still amazed when I see things I have written quoted elsewhere or when people ask me to write for them. There have been so many people and things in this past year I have experienced that has helped me with the direction I am going in now at this point in my life.
Then there is Catalina and Quid Pro Quo. Last month I went to work for Catalina. It was something we had been tossing around and then finally decided to do it. I LOVE working for Catalina. I love the work I am doing and the people I am working with. I absolutely love what I have been doing with the Best Sex Bloggers site and the people there. I have been receiving notes from people telling me how much they like the changes there and that is a pretty great feeling. I hope over the next few months to complete all the changes on Best Sex Bloggers and for it to be a true CommUNITY blog for all of us.
Doing the work for Quid Pro Quo has also opened up another world for me. This past week I took on a new project and started working on PR for Madison Young's Femina Potens Art Gallery. I'm excited to be doing this work and it is my online life as a sex blogger that brought me in contact with Catalina and Quid Pro Quo.
In the end as much as I love my online life at times I also get burnt out by it. Every so often I need to step back and look at my life both online and offline and what is important. It isn't my blog traffic or how many people follow me on twitter. What is important to me these days is my children and my friends who are there for me. Some of who I met online as a sex blogger but have become some of my closest confidants.
That is what is important to me and all the rest is disposable. Just like the trash that is swept off the playground at the end of recess each day. I know that there will come a day when I will no longer post on my blog or twitter much. On that day I will take away with me some great experiences, wonderful friends and memories.
Just a note: There are many people now in my life now and I couldn't mention all of you in this post but I think you know who you are and how you touch my life each day.
Since finding this online CommUNITY I have been able to get to know many people. Some I have met in my offline life and some I have built close friendships with. Then there are all the other friends I have only online.
However sometimes online life is just too much like being in Jr. High School. Who follows who on twitter, snarky comments on blog posts and online stalkers. I think it is that part of online life that had me feeling a lot like Lilly did. Somewhat burnt out. I left the playground many years ago and I have no desire to spend time there at this point in my life.
I love my online life at times and the world it has opened for me. I look forward to what crazy thing Mollena will tweet next or what rant Steff will post on her blog that makes me want to shout "You go girl!" to her when she nails exactly what I am thinking. I laugh when I think about my twitter conversations with Natt and Kyle and the three of us doing #8 together. Or the most recent episode of BitAM. Then there are all the hot shoe pictures Thursday and Tess post on twitter that makes me want to convert.
Because of blogging I now know Tess, Catalina, Elizabeth and Bad Bad Girl. They are some of my closest friends that I can turn to for support, a question or just to enjoy something with. Audacia helped me to see the true side of sex work instead of the media version I had been fed all these years and I know when we go out to dinner together I am going to have a fantastic meal because of her love of food and knowledge of NYC restaurants.
Last fall the sex blogging CommUNITY all came together to produce the NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar. Not just the bloggers who posed in it but the entire sex blogging CommUNITY who came out and supported it by blogging, twittering, buying days and then buying calendars. Now Audacia will be holding her first Speak Up! here in NYC in April because of the funds that were raised from the sales of the calendar. We together as a CommUNITY did that. Which in my book is pretty damn good.
We as a CommUNITY all wrote about and helped Butterfly as she battled cancer all these past months. We all lent her our emotional support when she needed someone there and we all showed her how much she mattered to us in our CommUNITY. We helped Catalina fight against a school that was using her daughters education against her becuase of the work she has chosen.
I have had my fan girl moments from sex blogging too. Meeting some of the people that I have, has been a truly wonderful experience. Candida Royalle is an amazing women that I had the pleasure of finally meeting at the calendar launch party. Last month I met Graydancer when he visited NYC. Sqeeeeee! I had been a fan of him and his Ropecast and he was even sweeter to meet in person. Lochai left me a comment on my Fetlife wall saying I must be special as a welcome to Fetlife. I was totally shocked when I found my twitter on 'Violet Blues sex twitters list.
Then there are all the people I interact on a daily basis with online. People who seek me out to work on a project with them or an idea they have. Things that make me feel great after having such low self esteem all these years. I am still amazed when I see things I have written quoted elsewhere or when people ask me to write for them. There have been so many people and things in this past year I have experienced that has helped me with the direction I am going in now at this point in my life.
Then there is Catalina and Quid Pro Quo. Last month I went to work for Catalina. It was something we had been tossing around and then finally decided to do it. I LOVE working for Catalina. I love the work I am doing and the people I am working with. I absolutely love what I have been doing with the Best Sex Bloggers site and the people there. I have been receiving notes from people telling me how much they like the changes there and that is a pretty great feeling. I hope over the next few months to complete all the changes on Best Sex Bloggers and for it to be a true CommUNITY blog for all of us.
Doing the work for Quid Pro Quo has also opened up another world for me. This past week I took on a new project and started working on PR for Madison Young's Femina Potens Art Gallery. I'm excited to be doing this work and it is my online life as a sex blogger that brought me in contact with Catalina and Quid Pro Quo.
In the end as much as I love my online life at times I also get burnt out by it. Every so often I need to step back and look at my life both online and offline and what is important. It isn't my blog traffic or how many people follow me on twitter. What is important to me these days is my children and my friends who are there for me. Some of who I met online as a sex blogger but have become some of my closest confidants.
That is what is important to me and all the rest is disposable. Just like the trash that is swept off the playground at the end of recess each day. I know that there will come a day when I will no longer post on my blog or twitter much. On that day I will take away with me some great experiences, wonderful friends and memories.
Just a note: There are many people now in my life now and I couldn't mention all of you in this post but I think you know who you are and how you touch my life each day.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Giving Back
There has been a lot of debate this past week in sex blogland over sex toy reviews and the companies that provide us with all the swag. I voiced my thoughts on the subject last week here on my own blog and over on Best Sex Bloggers.
Today I want to talk about another side of these companies that I see. I want to talk about the companies that give back to our CommUNITY. When I worked with Tess on the NYC Sex Bloggers calendar one of the first things we did was to contact sex related companies asking for them to help sponsor the calendar. At the time we didn't have a product to show them but only a concept of what we wanted to do. Several of these companies stepped forward to become sponsors on the calendar making it possible for us to produce it. Without Njoy we would never have been able to do this after losing our sponsorship for printing of the calendar. What amazed me at the time is that these companies took such a chance on us. Tess and I had no experience producing a calendar but our sponsors believed in what we were trying to do and climbed aboard with us. By the time our calendar release party rolled around companies were now contacting us asking to be part of this project and support Sex Work Awareness.
Recently I worked on finding a presenting sponsor for Sex 2.0 in Washington DC on May 9th. I approached SexToy.com and asked them if they would be interested. I don't think I have to tell anyone how much money is involved in being the main sponsor on an event or how many of the companies we deal with are laying off people because of this shitty economy.
But to my great delight after learning what this event was about SexToy.com agreed and are now the main presenting sponsor for Sex 2.0. I look at a company like this that could very easily have spent that money on advertising, buying links or giving away more sex toys but instead stepped up to sponsor this one day event.
I still shop at my local Mom and Pop hardware store instead of Home Depot. I don't always look for the best price or the fanciest online site. I give my business to companies that I feel give something back with their profits. As I have said before I do not make money on my blog. The companies you see under my "Diva Likes" list are companies I personally believe in and would recommend to others. I can buy the Njoy Eleven (because Greg hasn't given me one yet!) on any site for the same exact price. When I finally do purchase it I know I am going to from a company that to me is a true part of this CommUNITY I am involved in. Not one that just gives us free sex toys or has reviews on their sites for us to read. Not a company that makes friends with all of us on twitter or Facebook but one that actually shows us that they are part of this CommUNITY and shows their support for us.
I personally want to thank SexToy.com for agreeing to be that presenting sponsor on Sex 2.0 and putting their profits back into our CommUNITY. For me personally that is what I look for when I chose where to spend my money.
Today I want to talk about another side of these companies that I see. I want to talk about the companies that give back to our CommUNITY. When I worked with Tess on the NYC Sex Bloggers calendar one of the first things we did was to contact sex related companies asking for them to help sponsor the calendar. At the time we didn't have a product to show them but only a concept of what we wanted to do. Several of these companies stepped forward to become sponsors on the calendar making it possible for us to produce it. Without Njoy we would never have been able to do this after losing our sponsorship for printing of the calendar. What amazed me at the time is that these companies took such a chance on us. Tess and I had no experience producing a calendar but our sponsors believed in what we were trying to do and climbed aboard with us. By the time our calendar release party rolled around companies were now contacting us asking to be part of this project and support Sex Work Awareness.
Recently I worked on finding a presenting sponsor for Sex 2.0 in Washington DC on May 9th. I approached SexToy.com and asked them if they would be interested. I don't think I have to tell anyone how much money is involved in being the main sponsor on an event or how many of the companies we deal with are laying off people because of this shitty economy.
But to my great delight after learning what this event was about SexToy.com agreed and are now the main presenting sponsor for Sex 2.0. I look at a company like this that could very easily have spent that money on advertising, buying links or giving away more sex toys but instead stepped up to sponsor this one day event.
I still shop at my local Mom and Pop hardware store instead of Home Depot. I don't always look for the best price or the fanciest online site. I give my business to companies that I feel give something back with their profits. As I have said before I do not make money on my blog. The companies you see under my "Diva Likes" list are companies I personally believe in and would recommend to others. I can buy the Njoy Eleven (because Greg hasn't given me one yet!) on any site for the same exact price. When I finally do purchase it I know I am going to from a company that to me is a true part of this CommUNITY I am involved in. Not one that just gives us free sex toys or has reviews on their sites for us to read. Not a company that makes friends with all of us on twitter or Facebook but one that actually shows us that they are part of this CommUNITY and shows their support for us.
I personally want to thank SexToy.com for agreeing to be that presenting sponsor on Sex 2.0 and putting their profits back into our CommUNITY. For me personally that is what I look for when I chose where to spend my money.
Monday, February 9, 2009
My Own Room
Growing up I hated having my own room. When I went to bed at night I wanted someone to share my day with or tell scary stories to.
Then I got married and no longer had my own room. I now once again have my own room and this time I love it. It is my space. The place I can go to get away from it all or to watch a movie with one of my children on a snowy day. It is a place where I can set up my laptop and chat with friends while I work on my latest project for Quid Pro Quo.
When I come home late at night as I drive down my street and my house comes into view I feel a sense of happiness when I think of going into my own room with the freedom to do whatever I like there. It might be an unscheduled meeting with Catalina at 3:00am when we happen to find each other online or it might be just having control of the tv remote. Things that seem so simple as I write them but were not part of my life for so many years.
Just one of many changes in my life now.
Then I got married and no longer had my own room. I now once again have my own room and this time I love it. It is my space. The place I can go to get away from it all or to watch a movie with one of my children on a snowy day. It is a place where I can set up my laptop and chat with friends while I work on my latest project for Quid Pro Quo.
When I come home late at night as I drive down my street and my house comes into view I feel a sense of happiness when I think of going into my own room with the freedom to do whatever I like there. It might be an unscheduled meeting with Catalina at 3:00am when we happen to find each other online or it might be just having control of the tv remote. Things that seem so simple as I write them but were not part of my life for so many years.
Just one of many changes in my life now.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
My Two Cents
When I took over Best Sex Bloggers from Catalina last month the first change I made was to no longer post reviews on there. What started off as a way to let the readers learn about different sex toys was becoming the main content on Best Sex Bloggers.
I personally for the past few months had felt that all I was seeing on blogs anymore were reviews. Every time a new post came up in my reader it always seemed to be a review. I think my final straw on this was when Babeland was offering their affiliates the penis cake pan to review.
This week I was glad to see others speaking about this issue when I read this post by Sinclair and today this one by AAG. They both make some very good points about this issue.
The Pleasurists had 75 reviewers on their 2008 best of list. Since then I know more bloggers are now reviewing for sex toy companies and I have no doubt that list will easily be 100 reviewers this year. If each person posted one review per week that is 75-100 reviews each week. There are not that many sex toys out there and what we end up seeing is the same toys reviewed over and over.
I have made the personal choice to not review sex toys or to make money on my blog. That is my choice but I also think everyone has a right to make an income on their blogs and to do reviews if they wish. I just think there has to be a change in how things are now because in the past few months I am finding less and less content to read on blogs.
This doesn't even begin to address that part of how when a blogger lends their name to a sex toy company by doing reviews for them it isn't just about the toy they are reviewing. Most people expect that writer to know the company they are dealing with and all the products they carry. AAG made some very good recommendations in her post that I think reviewers should use as a guideline when they make the choice to review for a company. I know I want to give my business to companies that I respect and feel are an asset to our CommUNITY.
My last part of this post is written in my capacity as part of Quid Pro Quo. That position puts me on the other side at times with these companies as I work with marketing and PR for them. I personally think this year we will see an end to this over saturation of sex toys being handed out. Some bloggers may have high traffic numbers and sales through their affiliate links but overall these companies are not seeing the returns in sales for what they are giving out. They are going to start looking for different ways to market their products than all these reviews that many people seem to be skipping over reading half of the time.
Now with all of that said if someone were to offer me the Njoy Eleven to review I would jump on it in a heartbeat. I guess I do have my price and it is the Eleven.
I personally for the past few months had felt that all I was seeing on blogs anymore were reviews. Every time a new post came up in my reader it always seemed to be a review. I think my final straw on this was when Babeland was offering their affiliates the penis cake pan to review.
This week I was glad to see others speaking about this issue when I read this post by Sinclair and today this one by AAG. They both make some very good points about this issue.
The Pleasurists had 75 reviewers on their 2008 best of list. Since then I know more bloggers are now reviewing for sex toy companies and I have no doubt that list will easily be 100 reviewers this year. If each person posted one review per week that is 75-100 reviews each week. There are not that many sex toys out there and what we end up seeing is the same toys reviewed over and over.
I have made the personal choice to not review sex toys or to make money on my blog. That is my choice but I also think everyone has a right to make an income on their blogs and to do reviews if they wish. I just think there has to be a change in how things are now because in the past few months I am finding less and less content to read on blogs.
This doesn't even begin to address that part of how when a blogger lends their name to a sex toy company by doing reviews for them it isn't just about the toy they are reviewing. Most people expect that writer to know the company they are dealing with and all the products they carry. AAG made some very good recommendations in her post that I think reviewers should use as a guideline when they make the choice to review for a company. I know I want to give my business to companies that I respect and feel are an asset to our CommUNITY.
My last part of this post is written in my capacity as part of Quid Pro Quo. That position puts me on the other side at times with these companies as I work with marketing and PR for them. I personally think this year we will see an end to this over saturation of sex toys being handed out. Some bloggers may have high traffic numbers and sales through their affiliate links but overall these companies are not seeing the returns in sales for what they are giving out. They are going to start looking for different ways to market their products than all these reviews that many people seem to be skipping over reading half of the time.
Now with all of that said if someone were to offer me the Njoy Eleven to review I would jump on it in a heartbeat. I guess I do have my price and it is the Eleven.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
HNT - I'm Still Here
I know it has been a couple of weeks but I'm still here. There have been many changes lately in my life and I am still trying to catch up with all of them but I will get back to writing again here hopefully in the next week. In the meantime you can find me most of the time over on twitter as debaucheddiva.
Recently I thought I would stop posting cleavage shots every week because they were all the same. How many times could I put up the same type of pictures showing my cleavage without everyone getting bored with them.
Then last week the Village Voice wrote about the NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar with the following description about me:
Like many of the bloggers in this calendar, she’s more likely to post photos of her cleavage than her face.Talk about pressure. The Village Voice is talking about my cleavage. Right after that came out my blog traffic went crazy. I started getting a ton of hits from a site written in French. When I finally translated it I found that they not only wrote about the calendar but they also featured one of my cleavage pictures. It appears my boobs are now famous in more than one language.
So today I once again share with you another cleavage picture. Can I also say that I can't wait for summer. Besides hating this cold and all the snow I want to go back to wearing my short skirts and showing off my legs once again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
