HNT - Shopping

Last week after I posted my HNT cleavage shot someone on twitter complained that they did not get to see such great cleavage when we met in person earlier that week. I won't point out how there was a lack of rope that night too but it did make me realize that when I meet people in person they expect to see either my cleavage or legs. I now find myself in my closet as I get ready to go out searching for a low cut top.

I took a little shopping trip last week to add the proper clothing to my wardrobe. Above is one of the tops I bought. I had planned on wearing this to In The Flesh tonight but the temperatures are predicted to be below zero with the wind chill factors and I am concerned about frostbitten cleavage. I may switch to a nice warm turtleneck.

One last thing. I have taken over publishing The Week in Kink and it will appear on the Best Sex Bloggers every Sunday start this week. Please send your submissions to me by midnight Saturday to be included.

HNT - Thank You

Over the holiday break my children asked if Tess would come for a visit. We spent the day making gingerbread houses among other things before Tess and I went out that evening. I wore the above top on our adventure out in my hometown.

I don't know what it is about Tess but everywhere we went that night people kept saying they thought they knew her. Are her boobs that famous I began to wonder to myself. The most surprising moment of the evening came when we found out the guy sitting next to us sold fucking machines online. Who would have thought of all people to stumble across in my hometown it would be a guy who we would have so much in common with.

I want to take a moment here to thank all of you who sent me such kind thoughts and hugs by email, chats and twitter DM's after my New Year's post. It meant more than I can ever say to see them. I am very much looking forward to many of those new friendships I have made in these past few months growing in 2009. Thank you to all of you for your support.

And the winner is.............

Sorry it has taken me longer than I said to choose the winners for the NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar. Time just seemed to get away from me the past few days.

I was originally going to write some of my own resolutions for 2009 but I really don't have any specific ones. I know some of the things I want to accomplish in my life this year but I don't think of them as resolutions.

Everyone left me great comments on what their resolutions were and it wasn't easy to pick three. I decided to chose the ones that touch my life the most.

The first person was Beautiful Dreamer.

I ended 2008 much happier than I began it and I also hope to be at least this happy at the end of 2009.

The next winner is Shelly's Place.

Everything she wrote on her comment is how I am trying to live my life everyday now.

The last one is Saintchick.

I have spent much of my life keeping my mouth shut and not saying or doing what I truly feel because I didn't want to hurt others or offend them. Thankfully I have changed that and one of the things I do every single day before I make decisions is to think about myself first.

I didn't pick Kyle because he already has a calendar (a signed one even) but I can relate to his comment that he wrote. I made some pretty lousy decisions this past year and have worked very hard these past few months to change that about me.

Thank you everyone who left me comments. I very much appreciate it.

Out With The Old, In With The New

Do I need crazy? Do I want crazy? Ask me one minute, I’ll give you one answer. Ask me another and you’ll get a different one.

I have thought about what to write for my New Year’s post and if I even wanted to recall 2008 at all. I ushered in that year as a first class passenger riding the crazy train. I spent the first half of 2008 trying to find my way and knowing that I needed to get off that crazy train if I was ever going to be happy again.

The quote above is something Tess had written in her New Year’s post last year and like so many things that Tess writes it really struck home with me. It became my constant companion those first few months of the year with all of the crazy things that were going on in my life.

One of the best things I did in 2008 was start therapy. I found a wonderful therapist who has helped me tremendously this year. My only regret is that I spent several months in the beginning not telling her the full truth of what was really going on in my life. Once I opened up and was totally honest with her everything for me changed.

I think the turning point for me this year was my trip to California with Tess over 4^th of July. It gave me the space and time I needed to make the decisions in my life that I knew all along but couldn’t find the strength for.

August found me in the center of a blogstorm when after Dacia, Rachel and Tess all spoke out about Jefferson aka Onelifetaketwo I also made the decision to do the same. I then did something I always thought and said I would never do and that was talk about my true relationship with Jefferson which you can read about here, here and here. Since that time I have often said that the only thing good about my relationship with Jefferson was the sex. Thankfully I have since come to know that even that was mediocre at best.

Many things changed for me in September when Tess came up with the brilliant idea to create the NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar as a benefit for Sex Work Awareness. My world was opened up to an entirely new CommUNITY of people and companies. I found many new friends and saw the wonderful things that this CommUNITY could do when we all worked together.

I learned that not only did I have nice legs but I had some nice cleavage too. All thanks once again to my friend Tess.

In November we had our calendar launch party that was a huge success although some of the best stories came from the after party later at our hotel. I got the best foot rub I have ever had and made some life long friends that night. My only regret is that I didn't win that damn Eleven from Njoy our major sponsor of the calendar. I also found myself somewhere that in a million years I would never have dreamed of. Time Out - New York.

December was extremely busy for me between the upcoming holiday's and working on promoting and selling the calendar. It was also an emotional month when I attended the SWP holiday meet and greet and the sex workers vigil. They both left their mark on me.

Now it is 2009 and time to look at the future. 2008 was one of the most difficult years I have had in my life. There were some wonderful things I found in 2008 with all the new friends I made and the things I discovered about myself but with that came a lot of pain, hurt and sadness. I hope to never have a year like that again. There are many new changes in my future now that I am finally headed in the right direction. Some will be just as difficult as the ones in 2008 but the difference is that these are all positive changes that will hopefully lead me to happiness.