Another Monday

There's a great big beautiful tomorrow

Shining at the end of ev'ryday

Another week has come and gone and I find myself here once again on a Monday morning realizing that I am actually looking forward to it. Gone is the dread of getting up and starting another week. The worry of what this week will bring me.

It took me a few weeks to actually realize that I now find myself looking forward to each new day and what it will bring me. I remember not that long ago being so unhappy and thinking to myself this is what life is. This is what the rest of my life will be like. Never realizing at that moment that I could be happy once again just being me.

My life isn't perfect by any measure these days and I do have my moments where I just want to scream at times but I have learned this past year how to deal better with that and now find myself each day doing that without even thinking about it.

Several years ago I told someone that until they were happy with themselves they wouldn't find happiness anywhere else. I never realized at that moment how true that was of my life. It has taken me awhile and I'm still working on it but for the first time in longer than I can remember my happiness is because of my choices. There are days that my life is going in so many new directions it is all I can do to just hang on and enjoy it.

Last week I wrote a post about "Leaving the Nest" and Tess. As with anything I write there is always more than I put out in public and the comments on the post. What surprised me about the feedback on that post was that people who both read and know me now never saw me as that shy person. That insecure woman with such low self esteem. It made me once again stop and look at myself now and realize just how much I have grown in this past year.

I have great week ahead of me. I'm am extremely busy working on the 2010 NYC Sex Blogger Calendar. We will be going public with the list of pin-ups and plans for it this week along with some surprises.

I am also attending Sex 2.0 at the end of the week and I'm very excited about that. Besides the awesome list of sessions and presenters that will be there it is also a chance for me to once again see friends and to finally meet in person the ones I only know from online.

Sex Work Awareness is going to have a table there and I'm excited about being able to help Dacia share the awesome news of what Sex Work Awareness is doing these days.

My only complaint I have lately is that between my two jobs, family and time I give to SWA and others I don't have the time I want to be able to write. I have so many things in my head I want to write about and I just haven't found the way to do that like I would. I actually even have a few funny things to post about.

One of these days I will get them all done.