Leaving The Nest

There is one person who has had the greatest impact in my life this past year and a half and that is Tess. I don't know if I can ever put into words how much her love and friendship has meant to me.

When I stumbled across Tess's blog I was in a downward spiral in my life. I was in a fucked up relationship that was only making my depression worse. Tess saw in me what I didn't. Over all these many months she has shown me support, love and the patience of a saint at times when I rode that crazy train for way too long.

I was always a very shy person and with such low self esteem afraid at times to actually talk to people. I didn't feel as if I was equal to them.

What Tess showed me by example is how to be the strong confident woman I am today. She pointed me in the right direction and introduced me to an entire world out there for me. She helped me see that therapy would be a good thing for me and throughout it all she was always next to me to catch me if I slipped and fell.

When I doubted myself and my abilities I had Tess to lean on. I had a safe haven within her world knowing that she would never lead me in the wrong direction. I was confident from day one that Tess had my best interests at heart and above all wanted me to be happy.

She is the one person in my life that I can be completely open and honest with. I have looked to her when I questioned things in my life and she was always there to give me her guidance. At the darkest point in my life she was there whenever I needed her and I don't know what I would have done without her.

But.......

There comes a time that I need to stand on my own and leave the nest. She has given me the skills and confidence I need to do that now. I may stumble and fall at times but I know that if I do she will be there once again to help me up.

Last week I left that nest when I did something I have not been able to do all these months. I took the subway by myself. That might seem like a simple thing to many of you but for some reason I had this mental block and fear when trying to figure out the subway on my own. Twice last week I did it by myself and even changed trains both times. After it seemed like such a simple thing but for me it was a huge step. I had taken one more step toward being independent.

Next week I'll be attending Sex 2.0 by myself. I actually won't quite be by myself as many of my close friends will be there but I won't be going with Tess like I have done to so many other things in the past. I know deep down Tess still worries about me at times no matter how much she sees that I have grown and for that I am thankful to her.

This is a big year of change for me in many ways and having the confidence to do many things on my own is so empowering for me. It feels great.

I will still always be Tess's submissive because it brings me great joy to humor her. I actually do love when she bosses me around at times and I'm looking forward to the warmer weather so she can once again start on her campaign of having me wear skirts.

I was truly blessed that night I found her blog.