Part of my annual Thanksgiving celebration is spending time with all of my old friends who I do not see throughout the year. Over the years we have found this to be the one holiday we all seem to be in town at the same time.
Yesterday was once again the day for our annual get together. I thought back on our visit last year and how much in my life has changed in this past year. I remember last year wondering how I would be able to spend an entire day with all of them when I was hiding so much of my life. This year was different. They all knew about the changes in my life and had not only both accepted and understood all of them but fully supported me in them.
Our afternoon started with me sharing the NYC 2009 Sex Bloggers Calendar with them. At first none of them could pick me out on it which was a very good thing. It meant that we had accomplished what we set out to do in my photo of making me unrecognizable to anyone who stumbled across it. The next reaction was their amazement to how sexy they thought I looked. None of them had seen that side of me and it definitely put a smile on my face when they commented about how mysterious and sexy I looked in my picture.
Something that I have been worried about lately is if I am leading two separate lives and how I can combine them. Yesterday was a perfect example of that. I was able to just be me with all of them which meant at times I talked about my job and family and at other times I talked about sex toys or the marvelous foot rub I got from Natt Nightly at the after party.
What I realized was that there was no longer two separate sides of me anymore. There was now just me. I could share whatever I wanted with them and it was all just a natural part of my life. The same type of relationships I have with the people I have met in this CommUNITY.
We had decided to start our afternoon off by going bowling because it was something we all did together as kids when we were growing up but had not done in years. My first laugh of the afternoon was when my friend was logging in all our names on the screen. She put in "Diva" for me.
Later in the evening we went out for dinner (cause I haven't eaten enough food these past few days) and drinks. Over several bottles of wine I talked about therapy and how it has helped me. One friend who I only see and talk to on this annual get together told us how she was now in therapy also. She has been in an unhappy marriage for several years now and has lost contact with most of us.
One thing that has changed very much for me over these past months is how open I can be now. I will talk about anything in my life including the fact I am in therapy now. She was amazed as I spoke of things in my life now.
I think one of the best memories of the evening is when she looked at me and said, "The more you speak the more normal I feel. My husband keeps telling me that other women work and raise children without needing therapy. Why is it such a problem for you?"
Imagine me making someone feel normal? But for her to sit there and listen to me talk about my life and the changes I am making in it gave her comfort to see she is not alone. I was lucky that I had many friends in the past year to talk to about all of this unlike her. We left each other with the promise to keep in better contact throughout the year.
At the end of the evening on our drive home my friends told me how much I was now like my old self. The person they grew up with all those years ago and had seen change to someone else as time went on. A person who would have never thought twice years ago to go out in her pajamas at 3am for pizza. They talked about how much stronger and confident I am now than when they last saw me.
Hearing those words from them meant more to me than when they told me in the beginning of the night how mysterious and sexy I looked in the calendar. (Not that I don't like those compliments too)
In case you are wondering I came in second in bowling. I need to remember not to get a manicure the same day I plan on going bowling.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thankful
Today I am thankful for:
The many new friends I have made this past year.
The old friends who love and support me no matter what.
That I am a healthier person today than I was a year ago
That at my lowest point when I hit rock bottom the people who were there to help me find my way.
That today my future seems brighter, happier and more exciting.
But most of all I am thankful for my children who have enriched my life more than I can ever put into words.
As a thank you to all my friends and readers I leave you with a picture of my cleavage for HNT. Match took this of me at our calendar pre-party and posted it on his tumblr that day.
Thanks Match for taking those photos (among other things) to help all of us to remember that day.
P.S. Thank you to Lilly for designing and making the jewelry I wore that night.
The many new friends I have made this past year.
The old friends who love and support me no matter what.
That I am a healthier person today than I was a year ago
That at my lowest point when I hit rock bottom the people who were there to help me find my way.
That today my future seems brighter, happier and more exciting.
But most of all I am thankful for my children who have enriched my life more than I can ever put into words.
As a thank you to all my friends and readers I leave you with a picture of my cleavage for HNT. Match took this of me at our calendar pre-party and posted it on his tumblr that day.
Thanks Match for taking those photos (among other things) to help all of us to remember that day.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
P.S. Thank you to Lilly for designing and making the jewelry I wore that night.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Sex Work Awareness
After coming up with the idea of creating a calendar of sex bloggers the next thing to do was to choose what organization would benefit from the sale of this calendar. At the time Tess and I tossed around a few ideas and looked at different organizations in our sex positive community we both respected and believed in. The one that we both felt would have the most impact from these calendar sales was Sex Work Awareness.
When Tess and I decided on Sex Work Awareness as the organization that would benefit from the sales of the NYC 2009 Sex Blogger Calendar it was after I had spent time reading their entire website and reviewing as much information as I could find on them. I needed to do that because although I had heard about Sex Work Awareness myself I, was unable to say exactly what they did or why there was a need for them. They are a relatively new organization that has only been incorporated for two years. This is their mission statement,
I consider myself lucky because of all the people I have met and gotten to know since becoming a blogger. One of them was Audacia Ray. Several months ago Dacia and I had a few conversations about sex workers and how I personally thought of or perceived them. At that time she gave me a lot to think about and helped me to see things differently than I had all these years. I was fortunate that I had someone like Dacia with so much knowledge and experience to discuss my thoughts with and was patient enough to help educate me on this subject.
Until this past year the term “sex worker” was not something I was familiar with because most of my personal knowledge about sex work was from either the media or the entertainment industry. Sex workers always seemed to be portrayed as the “crack whore on the corner” who came from an abusive home and ran away at a young age.
Since all of this I now see how the original views instilled in me by both the media and entertainment industry were very incorrect. I have many friends now who are also sex workers and when I look at their lives they are totally opposite of what the media has portrayed a sex worker as. That isn’t to say that there are not sex workers out there who are what we all see as the stereotypical young runaway girl who is in this because they have no other options. I am not ignoring any of that at all but what I myself am trying to point out here is that for many people their only thoughts or knowledge of sex workers is that stereotype.
When I told my IRL friends about this project many of them said “You’re raising money for prostitutes?” and could not understand the mission of the Sex Work Awareness organization. They couldn’t understand why there would be any need for an organization for sex workers.
I followed along with the live blogging Bound Not Gagged did the other night when Ashlee Dupre was on with Diane Sawyer. I recommend that you read their final write up about it. Some of the questions asked of her were just so ridiculous that I can’t even find the words to say what I want about it other than it is once again a perfect example of how a sex worker is portrayed in the media.
Recently I asked Dacia some questions about this organization and what type of plans they have for the future. One of the things I found out is that the only funding they are receiving right now is from private donations. If you read the About Sex Work Awareness page over on our calendar blog you will know some of the plans they have for the money they will receive from us. I was really impressed when I saw these ideas because I didn’t anticipate some of them. Especially these plans,
I think this is a wonderful way to reach out to the general public and have them be educated in a different way. With Dacia’s background and experience I am sure this will turn out excellent.
These ideas of Sex Work Awareness will come to life with the money they receive from these calendar sales. With a budget of even $5000 they would be able to do so many things. That may seem like a lot of money to raise but because we received so much support from our sponsors we can now donate the full $20 purchase price of the calendar to Sex Work Awareness. If we are able to sell 250 calendars we can reach that goal very easily. With the pre-sales and the sales of the calendar at our launch party we have a good start on that already.
I would like to reach out to the sex workers themselves to help support this fundraiser by purchasing a calendar. There are many of you out there and your small donation of $20 can make a difference. Please consider not only buying a calendar but also writing about this and getting the word out about this within the sex worker community.
Someone made a comment to me recently asking what have I ever personally done that would make me a sex worker. The answer is nothing. But just like I do not have to have heart disease to raise money for the American Heart Association I don’t need to be an actual sex worker to believe in and support an organization such as Sex Work Awareness.
When Tess and I decided on Sex Work Awareness as the organization that would benefit from the sales of the NYC 2009 Sex Blogger Calendar it was after I had spent time reading their entire website and reviewing as much information as I could find on them. I needed to do that because although I had heard about Sex Work Awareness myself I, was unable to say exactly what they did or why there was a need for them. They are a relatively new organization that has only been incorporated for two years. This is their mission statement,
We believe that all sex workers have a right to self-determination; to choose how we make a living and what we do with our bodies.
We aim to empower our diverse community by building the capacity of sex worker-serving and sex worker member-based institutions as well as the skills and resources of sex workers themselves.
We also conduct research about sex workers and the sex industry in order to better understand it, develop public education initiatives, and advocate for the rights of sex workers.
I consider myself lucky because of all the people I have met and gotten to know since becoming a blogger. One of them was Audacia Ray. Several months ago Dacia and I had a few conversations about sex workers and how I personally thought of or perceived them. At that time she gave me a lot to think about and helped me to see things differently than I had all these years. I was fortunate that I had someone like Dacia with so much knowledge and experience to discuss my thoughts with and was patient enough to help educate me on this subject.
Until this past year the term “sex worker” was not something I was familiar with because most of my personal knowledge about sex work was from either the media or the entertainment industry. Sex workers always seemed to be portrayed as the “crack whore on the corner” who came from an abusive home and ran away at a young age.
Since all of this I now see how the original views instilled in me by both the media and entertainment industry were very incorrect. I have many friends now who are also sex workers and when I look at their lives they are totally opposite of what the media has portrayed a sex worker as. That isn’t to say that there are not sex workers out there who are what we all see as the stereotypical young runaway girl who is in this because they have no other options. I am not ignoring any of that at all but what I myself am trying to point out here is that for many people their only thoughts or knowledge of sex workers is that stereotype.
When I told my IRL friends about this project many of them said “You’re raising money for prostitutes?” and could not understand the mission of the Sex Work Awareness organization. They couldn’t understand why there would be any need for an organization for sex workers.
I followed along with the live blogging Bound Not Gagged did the other night when Ashlee Dupre was on with Diane Sawyer. I recommend that you read their final write up about it. Some of the questions asked of her were just so ridiculous that I can’t even find the words to say what I want about it other than it is once again a perfect example of how a sex worker is portrayed in the media.
Recently I asked Dacia some questions about this organization and what type of plans they have for the future. One of the things I found out is that the only funding they are receiving right now is from private donations. If you read the About Sex Work Awareness page over on our calendar blog you will know some of the plans they have for the money they will receive from us. I was really impressed when I saw these ideas because I didn’t anticipate some of them. Especially these plans,
SWA will also allocate some funds to the development of a new media project, an alternative audioguide to the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s 19th and 20th century European paintings. The audioguide, Red Light Met, will feature will be available as a podcast on iTunes and will be chock full of information about prostitution and the arts.
I think this is a wonderful way to reach out to the general public and have them be educated in a different way. With Dacia’s background and experience I am sure this will turn out excellent.
These ideas of Sex Work Awareness will come to life with the money they receive from these calendar sales. With a budget of even $5000 they would be able to do so many things. That may seem like a lot of money to raise but because we received so much support from our sponsors we can now donate the full $20 purchase price of the calendar to Sex Work Awareness. If we are able to sell 250 calendars we can reach that goal very easily. With the pre-sales and the sales of the calendar at our launch party we have a good start on that already.
I would like to reach out to the sex workers themselves to help support this fundraiser by purchasing a calendar. There are many of you out there and your small donation of $20 can make a difference. Please consider not only buying a calendar but also writing about this and getting the word out about this within the sex worker community.
Someone made a comment to me recently asking what have I ever personally done that would make me a sex worker. The answer is nothing. But just like I do not have to have heart disease to raise money for the American Heart Association I don’t need to be an actual sex worker to believe in and support an organization such as Sex Work Awareness.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Where To Start?
I have been trying to write about the NYC 2009 Sex Blogger Calendar and my experience working on it for almost a month now but I never seem to be able to do that. Now I have last weekend and our fabulous party to write about as well.
I keep trying to figure out what I want to say and how I want to write this series of posts but I don't seem to be able to come up with an answer so I have finally decided I am just going to write whatever comes to mind. These posts will not necessarily be in any order and at times I may ramble but hopefully in the end I will be able to write everything I want to say.
I have met a tremendous amount of new people in the past three months since this all started. It started that first day that all of us got together on a Friday afternoon back in September for lunch at FreeFoods followed by shopping for calendar outfits and dinner later that night.
Since then I have discovered many new blogs as a result of our selling days on the calendar and also by the many people who linked us on their blogs. Then their are all the sponsors I got to know by working with them on this.
When Tess came up with this idea she put together a letter to send out to sex positive companies asking them to consider sponsoring our calendar. We approached companies with a concept of what we wanted to do and explained how it would benefit Sex Work Awareness. We had never made a calendar before or had any type of experience with something like this but many of them believed in what we were doing for SWA. Our sponsors read this email proposal and agreed to take that chance on us. Some gave us money towards the cost of our photo shoot, some gave us their products for the raffle we would have at our party and some gave us both.
Our first sponsor to join us was Vergenza. Jessica met us that Friday afternoon at lunch to hand us what would be our first official sponsor check. We would have many more companies follow that.
When our blog went live back in September we announced the calendar and that we would be selling days on the calendar. We only had 10 days to sell them before the calendar would need to be sent out to the printers. Within the first week we were linked on over 40 blogs and written about on Fleshbot. Without all the support of our fellow bloggers in this commUNITY who helped us get the word out about this calendar none of this would have been possible.
Then their is Njoy. I don't know if I can express in a post the amount of respect I have for a company like Njoy and the people who run it. Some of you might be aware that I didn't even own one sex toy until this past spring. On my first trip to Babeland I purchased the Njoy Pure Wand on the recommendation of Tess. This toy paired with my Hitachi is my favorite way to masturbate. Not only does it hit my g-spot perfectly but it is just a beautiful toy. For me personally I have always felt Njoy was the Cadillac of sex toys but after working with them on our calendar I know for a fact what a fantastic company they are.
We had started this project very late in the year to try and get a calendar shot and printed in time to sell. As some of you may know we had some issues with our original sponsor who had offered to print our calendar and then backed out in the end. Poor Tess worried if we would have our calendars in time for our party last week and every day my morning started with a call from her about this. Every morning I would once again reassure her that if Greg said we will have them then we would have them. That is the reputation Njoy has.
Sure enough the week of our party the calendars were expressed shipped halfway around the world to the Njoy-plex who in turn shipped a box to us to see before the party where they would then personally deliver them to us along with an Eleven to raffle off. WHICH I DID NOT WIN!!!!!! (Greg we need to talk about my lack of an Eleven)
I feel very lucky to have been part of this project because of all the people I have been able to meet and get to know as a result and for how much I have learned not only about the bloggers in this CommUNITY and what we all together can accomplish but also the sex positive companies that are a part of it. Take a look at our sponsor page to see the list of companies who supported us and helped to make this all happen.
Many of these companies approached us once the calendar project became public wanting to be part of this. Thanks to them and their support we are now able to donate the full purchase price of $20 to Sex Work Awareness. I think that is pretty amazing for a fund raiser to be able to do. I feel honored to be be associated with these sponsors and part of this blogging CommUNITY.
I keep trying to figure out what I want to say and how I want to write this series of posts but I don't seem to be able to come up with an answer so I have finally decided I am just going to write whatever comes to mind. These posts will not necessarily be in any order and at times I may ramble but hopefully in the end I will be able to write everything I want to say.
I have met a tremendous amount of new people in the past three months since this all started. It started that first day that all of us got together on a Friday afternoon back in September for lunch at FreeFoods followed by shopping for calendar outfits and dinner later that night.
Since then I have discovered many new blogs as a result of our selling days on the calendar and also by the many people who linked us on their blogs. Then their are all the sponsors I got to know by working with them on this.
When Tess came up with this idea she put together a letter to send out to sex positive companies asking them to consider sponsoring our calendar. We approached companies with a concept of what we wanted to do and explained how it would benefit Sex Work Awareness. We had never made a calendar before or had any type of experience with something like this but many of them believed in what we were doing for SWA. Our sponsors read this email proposal and agreed to take that chance on us. Some gave us money towards the cost of our photo shoot, some gave us their products for the raffle we would have at our party and some gave us both.
Our first sponsor to join us was Vergenza. Jessica met us that Friday afternoon at lunch to hand us what would be our first official sponsor check. We would have many more companies follow that.
When our blog went live back in September we announced the calendar and that we would be selling days on the calendar. We only had 10 days to sell them before the calendar would need to be sent out to the printers. Within the first week we were linked on over 40 blogs and written about on Fleshbot. Without all the support of our fellow bloggers in this commUNITY who helped us get the word out about this calendar none of this would have been possible.
Then their is Njoy. I don't know if I can express in a post the amount of respect I have for a company like Njoy and the people who run it. Some of you might be aware that I didn't even own one sex toy until this past spring. On my first trip to Babeland I purchased the Njoy Pure Wand on the recommendation of Tess. This toy paired with my Hitachi is my favorite way to masturbate. Not only does it hit my g-spot perfectly but it is just a beautiful toy. For me personally I have always felt Njoy was the Cadillac of sex toys but after working with them on our calendar I know for a fact what a fantastic company they are.
We had started this project very late in the year to try and get a calendar shot and printed in time to sell. As some of you may know we had some issues with our original sponsor who had offered to print our calendar and then backed out in the end. Poor Tess worried if we would have our calendars in time for our party last week and every day my morning started with a call from her about this. Every morning I would once again reassure her that if Greg said we will have them then we would have them. That is the reputation Njoy has.
Sure enough the week of our party the calendars were expressed shipped halfway around the world to the Njoy-plex who in turn shipped a box to us to see before the party where they would then personally deliver them to us along with an Eleven to raffle off. WHICH I DID NOT WIN!!!!!! (Greg we need to talk about my lack of an Eleven)
I feel very lucky to have been part of this project because of all the people I have been able to meet and get to know as a result and for how much I have learned not only about the bloggers in this CommUNITY and what we all together can accomplish but also the sex positive companies that are a part of it. Take a look at our sponsor page to see the list of companies who supported us and helped to make this all happen.
Many of these companies approached us once the calendar project became public wanting to be part of this. Thanks to them and their support we are now able to donate the full purchase price of $20 to Sex Work Awareness. I think that is pretty amazing for a fund raiser to be able to do. I feel honored to be be associated with these sponsors and part of this blogging CommUNITY.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
HNT - Blogger Brunch
What do you get when you put a several bloggers together for brunch?
A lovely show for the other customers in the restaurant.
Last Saturday several of us got together for brunch the day after the party. There was good food, a few drinks and lots of kissing going on. I haven't seen those pictures yet. (Someone want to forward them to me please) I was a tad on the tired side after getting about two hours sleep the night before.
I have several stories to tell about our calendar party including the pre-party and the after party so stay tuned. For now I will leave you with a picture Catalina took of me at brunch. The hands belong to one of my many new friends I finally met in person last weekend.
A lovely show for the other customers in the restaurant.
Last Saturday several of us got together for brunch the day after the party. There was good food, a few drinks and lots of kissing going on. I haven't seen those pictures yet. (Someone want to forward them to me please) I was a tad on the tired side after getting about two hours sleep the night before.
I have several stories to tell about our calendar party including the pre-party and the after party so stay tuned. For now I will leave you with a picture Catalina took of me at brunch. The hands belong to one of my many new friends I finally met in person last weekend.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
More Nod
If you know me or have been reading my blog for any length of time you know that I am well known for checking my stats. Today when I checked my stats I was in for a surprise. One of the "came from" links was a Google spreadsheet. I had never seen a hit from a spreadsheet and couldn't figure out why I would have one.
When I clicked on the link up popped a spreadsheet full of information. As I reviewed this spreadsheet I started to slowly realize what it was. I had read about it on this post over on another blog.
There on it was listed names of sex blogs, email addresses for the bloggers who wrote them, notes of what they were reviewing or would review next. What you would consider typical marketing notes. What I then saw gave me quite a shock. Along with the bloggers links and email addresses there were there actual names and home addresses. I realized this when I saw Tess's name and address on it. I was furious and tried to figure out how this link ended up in my blog stats. I then thought about the email I had received earlier that day from the new marketing/PR person at Eden Fantasys.
The other thing people know about me is that I don't hesitate to speak my mind when I feel the need to. However I have kept quiet about some things that have occurred with Eden Fantasys because I did not want to take away from something else I felt was more important.
I debated if I should just ignore this email or if I should respond back to him explaining the reasons why I had no desire to be associated with Eden Fantasies. I finally decided it would be better for this new marketing/pr person to understand some of the feelings in this CommUNITY regarding EF and the reasons why. This was my response to him,
Within a short time I received a response back from him. I would like to say that this new marketing person seems very nice and I feel bad for what they are up against trying to repair the reputation of this company. This is part of what they wrote to me,
I once again thought if I wanted to bother responding to this email and once again I decided to explain my feelings to this person. This was my response,
All of us as bloggers go to great lengths to protect our actual identities because of the consequences that could happen too many of us if we were discovered. We put our trust in these sex positive companies we deal with to take the same precautions with our personal information that we do. This is the second company now that I have seen inadvertently release a bloggers personal information on the internet.
If anyone reading this post has reviewed for Eden Fantasies in the past your personal information could have been seen by anyone who had a hit on their blog from that spreadsheet. EF created an open Google document that anyone, even I, can see and edit. And they used it to click around the web thereby making all of our PRIVATE info public.
When I clicked on the link up popped a spreadsheet full of information. As I reviewed this spreadsheet I started to slowly realize what it was. I had read about it on this post over on another blog.
There on it was listed names of sex blogs, email addresses for the bloggers who wrote them, notes of what they were reviewing or would review next. What you would consider typical marketing notes. What I then saw gave me quite a shock. Along with the bloggers links and email addresses there were there actual names and home addresses. I realized this when I saw Tess's name and address on it. I was furious and tried to figure out how this link ended up in my blog stats. I then thought about the email I had received earlier that day from the new marketing/PR person at Eden Fantasys.
The other thing people know about me is that I don't hesitate to speak my mind when I feel the need to. However I have kept quiet about some things that have occurred with Eden Fantasys because I did not want to take away from something else I felt was more important.
I debated if I should just ignore this email or if I should respond back to him explaining the reasons why I had no desire to be associated with Eden Fantasies. I finally decided it would be better for this new marketing/pr person to understand some of the feelings in this CommUNITY regarding EF and the reasons why. This was my response to him,
It was awesome we were in Time Out New York. Along with Fleshbot a few times and even Nerve.com. Check out the press page on our blog. www.sexbloggercalendar.wordpress.com
Are you aware that Eden was to be our main sponsor and have the calendar printed for us but backed out? The last email I saw from Fred was an offer for $500 sponsorship which we declined.
My overall experience with Eden, especially after all the sponsors I have been dealing with on the NYC 2009 Sex Blogger Calendar is not positive. I am not alone in those feelings either. I am going to assume you have looked at my blog before you emailed me. Did you happen to see where I spoke of Eden backing out of their agreement to match donations to The Butterfly Temptress cancer fund? I donated on your site when Eden first posted that only to later find out that agreement was not honored.
I can honestly say that I don't see myself ever recommending your company or buying anything from you after my experience with how it is operated. I can buy sex toys and lube from a million different places online. I choose to do business with companies I respect and working with all the sponsors on this calendar has shown me how much Eden is lacking as a member of this sex positive community.
All of that doesn't even touch on my feelings with how Eden ended their business relationship with AAG. She was the one with the respect of the community and gave you guys more PR than anyone. To squabble over such a small amount of money is one of the stupidest business decisions I have ever seen.
Personally my impression of Fred is that he never realized that although we might be "sex bloggers" we are not just a "group of horny women" writing about sex. We have brains and we have careers outside of our blogs. Careers in the business world that helped us see Eden was not a company we wanted to do business with.
Sorry if this is harsh or a shock to you but as the new marketing/PR person you should be aware what your customers think or feel about your company.
Within a short time I received a response back from him. I would like to say that this new marketing person seems very nice and I feel bad for what they are up against trying to repair the reputation of this company. This is part of what they wrote to me,
I appreciate your words and I know there is "bad blood" between our two communities and I have been given some information about that. I do not think your message was harsh and I really do appreciate your candor and honesty. I am now in charge of PR and Marketing and would love to help heal old wounds. If you could take some time and consider this I would appreciate that as well.
I once again thought if I wanted to bother responding to this email and once again I decided to explain my feelings to this person. This was my response,
I am glad I didn't offend you with my honest opinion. I personally do not think of this as "bad blood" between our two communities because for me this is all one community. When we came up with the idea of creating our calendar we reached out to everyone in our community for support. That included not only bloggers to help us spread the word but sex positive companies within this community. Eden along with myself are both part of what I like to think of as a sex positive community.
I spent the past three months working directly on producing this calendar which gave me an inside view of the sex positive companies in our community. We couldn't have accomplished what we did in such a short time without them. When Eden backed out of printing for us Njoy stepped in. They were already on board as a sponsor but they covered not only our printing but the cost to express ship these calendars halfway around the world so we would have them in time for our launch party last Friday.
Then you have Eden who is squabbling over such a small dollar amount with one of the most well loved bloggers out there. Sorry but I will once again say I have never seen a company do something as stupid as this. Fred is shooting himself in the foot with this fight. I am also hearing that some bloggers are not getting their commission checks. I have personally heard that from at least two bloggers I know and with what I have seen Fred do these past few months I am going to believe what these bloggers are telling me. This doesn't even touch on the issue of what happened to the funds Fred was going to match for Butterfly. This is a women who could possibly die of cancer and I would like to know how a company promotes they will match all donations until a date in November and then backs out of that. How do you explain something like that to us?
I think what I am trying to say to you is that until Fred changes the way he runs his company and pays the people who did business with him in good faith I along with many others will not change our thoughts about both doing business and recommending Eden. Maybe that should be the first thing you concentrate on. You can't change how any of us feel about Eden until Eden changes the way they treat the people they do business with.
All of us as bloggers go to great lengths to protect our actual identities because of the consequences that could happen too many of us if we were discovered. We put our trust in these sex positive companies we deal with to take the same precautions with our personal information that we do. This is the second company now that I have seen inadvertently release a bloggers personal information on the internet.
If anyone reading this post has reviewed for Eden Fantasies in the past your personal information could have been seen by anyone who had a hit on their blog from that spreadsheet. EF created an open Google document that anyone, even I, can see and edit. And they used it to click around the web thereby making all of our PRIVATE info public.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Life Is Funny Like That.......
I am in Time Out-New York this week. It was a little bit of a shock for me when they contacted us to do a feature about the NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar. All twelve of us are featured in there using some of the outtakes from our photo shoot. I am Miss October.
It was great of Time Out to feature us this week, however I think they missed a very important point in there. They didn't mention the reason why we created this calendar or who will benefit from it. This calendar was not just about twelve sex bloggers who got together for some sexy photos. It was made for a purpose.
It has been a lot of fun for me working on this calendar and planning the launch party for this Friday but what I hope all of us understand is that this is to benefit Sex Work Awareness. In the past year I have learned a lot about sex, the sex industry and sex workers. If you have arrived at my blog from TONY I recommend you go over to the NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar and check out our page about Sex Work Awareness. See the things they want to do with the funds we raise for them. I was very impressed when I first read their ideas.
Then help us support SWA and buy a calendar for $20. You will get to see the actual photos that were used in the calendar. You can purchase one by clicking on the paypal button to the right or over on the NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar site.
Thanks for your support!
It was great of Time Out to feature us this week, however I think they missed a very important point in there. They didn't mention the reason why we created this calendar or who will benefit from it. This calendar was not just about twelve sex bloggers who got together for some sexy photos. It was made for a purpose.
It has been a lot of fun for me working on this calendar and planning the launch party for this Friday but what I hope all of us understand is that this is to benefit Sex Work Awareness. In the past year I have learned a lot about sex, the sex industry and sex workers. If you have arrived at my blog from TONY I recommend you go over to the NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar and check out our page about Sex Work Awareness. See the things they want to do with the funds we raise for them. I was very impressed when I first read their ideas.
Then help us support SWA and buy a calendar for $20. You will get to see the actual photos that were used in the calendar. You can purchase one by clicking on the paypal button to the right or over on the NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar site.
Thanks for your support!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Behind the Scenes - Take Two
Audacia has once again done another fantastic job in both filming and editing this second behind the scenes video of our photo shoot at The Slipper Room.
If you notice you can't really see me in it at all. I am hidden in the back of the group shot snuggled up to Sinclair. I can't thank Sinclair enough for the great sacrifice she made by letting me hang all over her to protect me identity.
This Friday is our calendar launch party at the White Rabbit from 6:30 to 9:30. If you are in the city that night you don't want to miss it. Admission is free but we will be selling the calendars for $20 each. Thanks to our sponsor Sliquid we will be giving a bottle of Sliquid Silk to the first 100 people who buy a calendar.
All of our sponsors on this calendar have been more than generous and have donated many prizes for our raffle. You can check them all out on our Raffle page over on the NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar blog.
As much fun as all of this has been and how much I am looking forward to the party this week where I will finally be able to meet so many people I only know from online I think we also don't want to lose sight of the reason for all of this. Take a minute and read about Sex Work Awareness and what they will be able to do with the money we raise for them. Because we have received so much support on this project from both our sponsors and the days we sold we are now able to donate 100% of the $20 from each calendar sold to Sex Work Awareness.
If you can't make the party, please think about supporting Sex Work Awareness with your purchase of a calendar. You can make your purchase either directly from my blog or over on the Sex Blogger Calendar blog.
If you notice you can't really see me in it at all. I am hidden in the back of the group shot snuggled up to Sinclair. I can't thank Sinclair enough for the great sacrifice she made by letting me hang all over her to protect me identity.
This Friday is our calendar launch party at the White Rabbit from 6:30 to 9:30. If you are in the city that night you don't want to miss it. Admission is free but we will be selling the calendars for $20 each. Thanks to our sponsor Sliquid we will be giving a bottle of Sliquid Silk to the first 100 people who buy a calendar.
All of our sponsors on this calendar have been more than generous and have donated many prizes for our raffle. You can check them all out on our Raffle page over on the NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar blog.
As much fun as all of this has been and how much I am looking forward to the party this week where I will finally be able to meet so many people I only know from online I think we also don't want to lose sight of the reason for all of this. Take a minute and read about Sex Work Awareness and what they will be able to do with the money we raise for them. Because we have received so much support on this project from both our sponsors and the days we sold we are now able to donate 100% of the $20 from each calendar sold to Sex Work Awareness.
If you can't make the party, please think about supporting Sex Work Awareness with your purchase of a calendar. You can make your purchase either directly from my blog or over on the Sex Blogger Calendar blog.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
HNT - One Year
Tomorrow my blog will be one year old. What is that saying?
"Time flies when you're having fun"
A year ago I found myself lost in life and just like Alice I took a tumble down the rabbit hole. I landed in an unknown world of sex blogs and sex bloggers. I looked around, picked myself up and began my adventure. It was quite a trip I had down there. Some was good. Some was not so good. But through it all there was one constant support there helping to guide my way.
They taught me so much in this past year. Too much for me to even try to list it all. Most of all they helped to me to see what I could do with my life and that I could find that happiness I had been looking for.
They helped me to find a new direction in my life and gave me the support and love I needed while I struggled in my search.
Today's HNT is dedicated to that person who talked me into starting my blog last year and even came up with the Debauched Domestic Diva name for me. They have touched my life in more ways this past year than I can ever say and for that I will always be thankful for that day I came across their blog.
One of the things they did do was to help me see that I had some nice cleavage I could show off. Without them there would be no HNT's for me.
Thanks Princess for sharing my life with me this past year. I have been blessed to have your love and friendship and I look forward with a smile to the adventures ahead of us Thelma.
"Time flies when you're having fun"
A year ago I found myself lost in life and just like Alice I took a tumble down the rabbit hole. I landed in an unknown world of sex blogs and sex bloggers. I looked around, picked myself up and began my adventure. It was quite a trip I had down there. Some was good. Some was not so good. But through it all there was one constant support there helping to guide my way.
They taught me so much in this past year. Too much for me to even try to list it all. Most of all they helped to me to see what I could do with my life and that I could find that happiness I had been looking for.
They helped me to find a new direction in my life and gave me the support and love I needed while I struggled in my search.
Today's HNT is dedicated to that person who talked me into starting my blog last year and even came up with the Debauched Domestic Diva name for me. They have touched my life in more ways this past year than I can ever say and for that I will always be thankful for that day I came across their blog.
One of the things they did do was to help me see that I had some nice cleavage I could show off. Without them there would be no HNT's for me.
Thanks Princess for sharing my life with me this past year. I have been blessed to have your love and friendship and I look forward with a smile to the adventures ahead of us Thelma.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
A Friend In The CommUNITY
When I first started my blog I didn't think about the people who would be reading what I wrote or any of the people I would get to know because of it.
In the very beginning I only had a handful of readers who would leave me comments. Some I became friends with online and I felt lucky when I was able to get to know them better. One of them was The Butterfly Temptress. She was one of the first few people I met online who offered me both kindness and friendship. I remember back around March of this year when I found out her cancer had spread and how sad and helpless I felt at that point for her.
I myself could relate to some of what Butterfly was going through because I too had cervical cancer at one point in my life. I was lucky in my fight with it but I will never forget that moment of fear and despair when I was told of my diagnosis. The fear of what would happen to my children if something happened to me or if they would ever remember me. If they would remember my warm hugs and kisses that I smothered them with everyday.
I also remember the exhausting amount of paperwork for the insurance that followed that diagnosis. It was not the first time in my life that I dealt with health insurance companies and the reality of the cost of medical treatment.
At another time in my life I found myself in the same spot as Butterfly when I learned health insurance would not cover all the expenses and that there was no other help available to my family because of my personal income. I think we can all agree that no matter what your income is, that with the high cost of medical treatment none of us are ever prepared to pay for that.
Butterfly has been fighting this horrible disease for many months now but just about every morning you will find her on twitter saying hello and offering someone a kind word. I think that is what attracted me to her from the beginning. The kind words and encouragement she has always had for me since the beginning. No matter what was going on in her life or how sick she was feeling that day she always had a moment to offer me her friendship and support. It is people like her that make this CommUNITY of ours such a great place for all of us.
Butterfly is no longer able to handle this fight on her own now. She very much needs help yet she is so hesitant to even ask for it. I know what that is like. I spent many years in my own life never reaching out to the people around me to ask for any help when I needed it. I know now what a huge mistake that was for me and how much better off I would have been this past year if I had just taken those steps before things became so awful for me.
She had been writing a series on her battle with cancer for Eden Fantasies at one point. These posts were so open and honest about her battle that it brought back some of the memories in my own battle. At the time Eden had said they were matching all donations to Butterfly to help her with her battle. Now it appears that for whatever reasons that didn't happen.
I was upset when I first learned of this and worried about what she would do now. But I should know better than to underestimate the power of this CommUNITY or Catalina when she puts her mind to something. She has arranged financial sponsorship with VibeReview.com and for bloggers to be able to donate their November commissions from them to her. You can read about it here. Catalina has to be the hardest working blogger I know and I am quite happy to be able to call her my friend.
Butterfly has now started another blog where she is posting those writings about cancer. It is called Life, Love, Cancer where you can read her open and honest posts of how her ongoing battle with cancer has changed her life in so many ways. I think it is some very powerful writing.
You will also see a donation button on her site. I know that it was a very hard decision for her to take that step and ask for help. I think what she needs to remember is that although our CommUNITY is based online and spread around the world there are many in it who treasure their friendship with her and want to help.
I am not going to ask any of you to donate because I don't think I need to make that appeal myself for Butterfly. All of the information is there for you to read it yourself and make your own choice to help her.
I do however hope that all of us as a CommUNITY can come together and be there for her in the days ahead by keeping her not only in our thoughts as she fights this battle but also by sending her kind words of support that I know on several days when everything is so dark for her it can mean the world to her.
In the very beginning I only had a handful of readers who would leave me comments. Some I became friends with online and I felt lucky when I was able to get to know them better. One of them was The Butterfly Temptress. She was one of the first few people I met online who offered me both kindness and friendship. I remember back around March of this year when I found out her cancer had spread and how sad and helpless I felt at that point for her.
I myself could relate to some of what Butterfly was going through because I too had cervical cancer at one point in my life. I was lucky in my fight with it but I will never forget that moment of fear and despair when I was told of my diagnosis. The fear of what would happen to my children if something happened to me or if they would ever remember me. If they would remember my warm hugs and kisses that I smothered them with everyday.
I also remember the exhausting amount of paperwork for the insurance that followed that diagnosis. It was not the first time in my life that I dealt with health insurance companies and the reality of the cost of medical treatment.
At another time in my life I found myself in the same spot as Butterfly when I learned health insurance would not cover all the expenses and that there was no other help available to my family because of my personal income. I think we can all agree that no matter what your income is, that with the high cost of medical treatment none of us are ever prepared to pay for that.
Butterfly has been fighting this horrible disease for many months now but just about every morning you will find her on twitter saying hello and offering someone a kind word. I think that is what attracted me to her from the beginning. The kind words and encouragement she has always had for me since the beginning. No matter what was going on in her life or how sick she was feeling that day she always had a moment to offer me her friendship and support. It is people like her that make this CommUNITY of ours such a great place for all of us.
Butterfly is no longer able to handle this fight on her own now. She very much needs help yet she is so hesitant to even ask for it. I know what that is like. I spent many years in my own life never reaching out to the people around me to ask for any help when I needed it. I know now what a huge mistake that was for me and how much better off I would have been this past year if I had just taken those steps before things became so awful for me.
She had been writing a series on her battle with cancer for Eden Fantasies at one point. These posts were so open and honest about her battle that it brought back some of the memories in my own battle. At the time Eden had said they were matching all donations to Butterfly to help her with her battle. Now it appears that for whatever reasons that didn't happen.
I was upset when I first learned of this and worried about what she would do now. But I should know better than to underestimate the power of this CommUNITY or Catalina when she puts her mind to something. She has arranged financial sponsorship with VibeReview.com and for bloggers to be able to donate their November commissions from them to her. You can read about it here. Catalina has to be the hardest working blogger I know and I am quite happy to be able to call her my friend.
Butterfly has now started another blog where she is posting those writings about cancer. It is called Life, Love, Cancer where you can read her open and honest posts of how her ongoing battle with cancer has changed her life in so many ways. I think it is some very powerful writing.
You will also see a donation button on her site. I know that it was a very hard decision for her to take that step and ask for help. I think what she needs to remember is that although our CommUNITY is based online and spread around the world there are many in it who treasure their friendship with her and want to help.
I am not going to ask any of you to donate because I don't think I need to make that appeal myself for Butterfly. All of the information is there for you to read it yourself and make your own choice to help her.
I do however hope that all of us as a CommUNITY can come together and be there for her in the days ahead by keeping her not only in our thoughts as she fights this battle but also by sending her kind words of support that I know on several days when everything is so dark for her it can mean the world to her.
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