My Reason Why

I have touched on this a little bit in a few posts that I have written recently but after reading Dacia's latest post on both her blog and Bound Not Gagged I wanted to say something more about my personal reasons for being involved with the NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar.

Tess had come up with the idea to create the calendar which I thought was a great thing for all of us together to do but it was choosing who would benefit from the sales of the calendar that was most important. I didn't get involved and do all of this work for page loads, name recognition or the media I have received. I did it because it was something that personally touched my life and I believed in which all basically started from an email I received from Dacia before the calendar was ever a thought.

I had written what I considered one simple sentence in a post but it struck her deeply. She sent me an email about what I had written and asked me some questions. She gave me some things to think about and boy did I. We have had several conversations since then on this and what I realized is that what I wrote was coming from something more personal in my life at that moment yet it was a blanket statement towards all sex workers. It also showed me that my only impression or knowledge of sex workers was from both the media and entertainment industry.

It was shortly after this that the calendar idea came up and Sex Work Awareness was chosen as the organization that would benefit. My passion and drive on this is because it is something I not only believe in but am actual proof of. Because of my life as a blogger it has given me the opportunity to meet and get to personally know sex workers. I was fortunate that I had someone like Dacia who spent the time discussing my views and knowledge of sex workers. I don't think she ever realized what that one email would do for me or that I would not hesitate to email her for more knowledge. As this project went on Dacia would find herself the recipient of emails from me in my quest for more information about Sex Work Awareness and sex workers. I think we might have surprised each other in the end.

I also had women like Rebecca and Catalina in my life whom I saw first hand what can happen when the people around you are close minded and uneducated about sex workers. How the stigma associated with sex workers can affect their entire lives.

It was two days before Rebecca's trip to NYC last month that she told me she would have to cancel because of what was going on in her life. She had been forced to leave where she was living with her family after being outed for being an escort. Tess and I worked our magic and made sure Rebecca joined us in NYC that weekend because as I said to Rebecca on the phone as we talked about what had happened, it was women like her that we were doing all of this work for. To be able to change the opinions of people and remove the stigma associated with being a sex worker. Rebecca was the classic example of one of the risks sex workers face in their lives.

I looked at my own life that was so similar in many ways to the life Rebecca and Catalina had with her families. We all were struggling to raise our children. Rebecca and I both belonged to the PTA and had been girl scout leaders. We never hesitated to volunteer at our children's schools yet just as Rebecca was shunned once it was revealed she was an escort I know that there are many people in my community that would treat me exactly the same if my friendships with sex workers and fund raising for SWA was revealed. I would be stigmatized just for my association with sex workers.

By me writing one small line in a post and Dacia sending me that one email many things have resulted. I was one person who was able to see a different view and in turn put my energy into working towards others seeing the same.

Now just like Elizabeth did yesterday I would ask that you all also do something to help us make December "Sex Workers Awareness" month. You don't need to know a sex worker personally to write about sex workers or show support for our calendar. As Dacia said:

I know that a conversation or an email thread with one person seems like a tiny thing. And throwing in $20 towards a calendar seems tiny too - but the sex worker activist movement is small, and every little bit counts.

This is a small difference and hopefully our contribution can help SWA accomplish their goal as outlined in their mission statement but we have to start somewhere and for me it stated with an email.

Mission Statement

We believe that all sex workers have a right to self-determination; to choose how we make a living and what we do with our bodies.

We aim to empower our diverse community by building the capacity of sex worker-serving and sex worker member-based institutions as well as the skills and resources of sex workers themselves.

We also conduct research about sex workers and the sex industry in order to better understand it, develop public education initiatives, and advocate for the rights of sex workers.

You never know when something you do or say can change someones views and opinions. A $20 donation to SWA when you purchase our calendar will go to helping SWA achieve their mission statement.